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Film Reviews
The Matrix Revolutions

Starring, Keaun Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie Ann Moss & Hugo Weaving
Directed By The Wachowski Bros
Cert 15

There are those that say the Matrix Reloaded lost its way kinda around the part with the architect…
These people are idiots the Matrix has always been about choice. Asked what the Matrix is, the Oracle replies, ‘Anything you Damm well please.’ I think some people seem to forget that the Matrix is like one giant PC. So for the coldness and impenetrable babble of the Architect we have the warm and greeting words of the Oracle. Where the Architect is about control the Oracle is about chaos, where Agent Smith stands for oppression Neo stands for freedom; one coin two different sides, that’s what the Matrix is ... but onto Revolutions.

We pick up the story from where we left off with Neo in a coma along with Bane who has been taken over by one of the Smith's. Neo’s conscious has been captured and taken to a remarkable clean train station run by the wurzle gummage lookalike Trainman who works for everyone’s favorite Frenchman The Merovingian. There's no easy escape as Neo soon finds out. Meanwhile Trinity & Morpheus are summoned by the Oracle, who has since changed bodies. Even Morpheus the ever believer is a little shaken but Trinity stands firm. They are told who has Neo hostage and mount an audacious raid on The Merovingian’s lair a S&M nightclub called ‘Club Hell’ where men fight on the ceilings it's all very cool. With Neo rescued the story begins properly since this and Reloaded are basically two films cut into two you tend to forget that the sentinels are still digging their way to Zion. After some flashes of the future Neo is sure of what needs to be done to end this war and so with Trinity he takes a hovercraft spaceship to the machine world. This leads to some touching scenes and brings back something that was sorely missing from the second film - emotion - there is again a sense of danger of not knowing who’s going to live or die. There are also plenty of surprises - an accident involving Neo being one of the biggest.

The Battle sequences which reportedly cost 40 million to bring to the screen are fabulous real edge of the seat stuff as the Humans APU's face off against the sentinels and the images really stick in the brain - Trinity seeing the sun for the first time if only for a couple of fleeting seconds, the kid stumbling in a APU the door while in the background… a vision of hell. While this is all happening Neo arrives at the machine world and comes to a deal with the machines…

The final battle takes place back in the Matrix, which has now been taken over fully by Smith, Smith, Smith et al, the battle that follows is everything as epic as we could imagine. We all know who wins of course but not in the way you would imagine. The thing about The Wachowski Bros (directors)is every time the audience think they know what’s coming next the Bro's pull the rug out from under us, even the ending is ambiguous, again a very brave choice in the face of audience who have been conditioned to expect a happy ending overall. I think it’s a fitting end to a series that has invigorated action and science fiction cinema.

Kill Bill

Starring: Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu & Vivica Fox
Directed By Quentin Tarantino
Cert 18

So the Fourth film from QT it’s been a long wait but it’s finally here any good? Well yes it is very very good Kill Bill is a love letter to trash cinema this film is for the sort of people that love films. Blaxplotation films like ‘Coffy’ & My personal favorite ‘Three The Hard Way’ or samurai movies like The Baby –cart Series or Japanimation like ‘Ghost In The Shell’ or ‘ninja Scroll’ I could go on the but let’s get to the review.

Kill Bill follows the adventures of ‘The Bride’ (Uma Thurman) who on her wedding day is gunned down by her former colleagues an elite assassin group left in a coma she awakens and goes all out for revenge taking them out one by one leading up to bill (An yet unseen David Carridine) and that’s it that’s the story not much is there, but as they say it’s the quality not the quantity and the wholesale execution of the entire film is something to behold. The film seems to be set in some alternate day-glo planet earth where you can carry a sword onto a plane & defy the laws of gravity.

One thing that’s slightly missing in this film is the dialogue that Quentin is known for I think that this was a conscious decision to prove to himself that it’s not all he could do and also to prove to himself that he could direct action scenes and in that respect he has succeeded. The key scene the bride Vs the crazy 88s is a tour de force of cinema and is expertly directed by Quentin but helped in no uncertain terms by everyone favorite choreographer/martial arts advisor Yuen Woo-Ping this carnage is followed by a beautiful final face off between The Bride And her former colleague now queen of the Japanese underworld O-Ren Ishii (The Lovely Lucy Liu ) in a snow covered garden overall it’s a very good film and we still haven’t seen Bill yet. Volume 2 follows in February and I for one can’t wait.


Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines
Stars Arnie, Kristina Lokken -
Directed By: Jonathon Mostow
Cert 12

Arnie aka the Governator tries to win himself a few more votes by taking to the Terminator franchise for the third time. This time out our mechanised cyborg is brough back to Earth to deal with a new foe after killing the teenage John Connor (soon to be in the future - saviour of the planet). The Terminatrix played by Kristina Lokken sure looks better than Arnie - although our man has certainly regained some of the shape that he had when he rulled the silver screen as the true all-action hero a few years back.

The film's got all the usual Terminator trappings, prolonged fights and chases and some tongue in cheek moments. It seems that Arnie can take more than a few jokes at his own expense, picking up some sun glasses after the hero finds a suitable clothes donor, certainly raised a few laughs, as does our man driving around in a 'convertible' hearse.

The ending is, compared to Terminator 2, a bit of a let down. It's predictable and does not have the twists and out and out rage of its' predecessor. And by the way did they get that underground set from the seventies Planet of the Apes Films? Anyway back to the ending, perhaps they did not want to mess with Lokken's makeup too much, well not until Arnie utters those immortal words 'You're terminated'.


Previous Reviews
These should still be showing at your local multiplex...

Cabin Fever (15)
Starring: James De Bello, Rider Strong,
Jordan Ladd & Joey Kern
Directed By: Eli Roth

Back to basics horror seems to be in vogue once again as this film and others such as ’House Of 1000 corpses’ and the upcoming ‘reimagining’ of
The Texas chainsaw massacre show. Cabin Fever itself is a very strange film the whole tone of the film is very David Lynchian indeed Lynch’s composer Angelo Badalamenti even does some of the music giving it a strange and quirky air.

Cabin fever Is not really a horror per se imagine the sort of films David Croenenberg made in the 70’s the body horror of an invisible virus. Because in cabin fever there is no stalker with a big knife, no monsters from hell instead it’s a flesh eating virus that’s the killer here. As five generic teens the bimbo, idiot, coward, nice guy & nice girl rent a cabin out in the woods looking forward to a bit of r&r, but there holiday is cut short when a local guy with the virus turns up on there doorstop and they accidentally kill him.

Soon the virus is spreading among the friends and before long there self survival kicks in. When the disease does take hold it is horrifying one scene in particular will put most people off shaving for life so is cabin fever worth your time? if you enjoy these types of films I’d say yes but for anyone who hasn’t got a strong stomach steer well clear.

Bad Boys 2 (15)
Starring: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, and Gabrielle Union
Directed By: Michael Bay

I cannot believe that it been almost 8 years since the first bad boys and after all that time a sequel finally arrives. Will smith and Martin Lawrence return in the title roles this time after a Cuban drugs lord dealing in ecstasy but…hold on you don’t go to a Micheal bay film looking for plot. You go for the spectacle and what a spectacle from the first shoot-out at a clan rally to an audacious freeway chase in which cars are thrown off a rig special mention must go to the 360 degrees shoot out.

The action is unrelenting and after a while all starts to blend into one big action sequence another thing how did this receive a 15 certificate is beyond me ,but as an action film it’s more of the same but if your looking for a big dumb action film then this is for you.

Some Even Older Reviews
If you haven't seen these where have you been?

Jeepers Creepers 2 (15)

The first Jeepers Creepers arrived on a wave of hype as being ‘the best horror film of the last 10 years, which course was nonsense. It was a fairly passable horror film with an excellent first half, which dive-bombed by revealing the monster too early. Now we have JC2, which picks up the story. We are now nearing the end of the creepers 23 day feast, but he isn’t stopping just yet.
A coach load of teens returning from a basketball game are to be on his last supper after an excellent tense beginning in a corn field the film settles into a familiar groove in which a group of people are dumped somewhere and then picked off one by one the film is mostly played for laughs as the creeper picks out his chosen with wicked glee the dialogue is terrible on purpose I suspect, but as a popcorn film JC2 is highly recommended.

Freddy Vs Jason (18)

After years of development hell it finally here the meeting of two horror icons Freddy & Jason my expectations of this film were particularly low so for it to be as good as it is a bonus, F V J sees Freddy wishing to return his old stamping ground street but there’s a problem, the kids have forgotten about him and those that do are carted off to the local hospital and doped up so he hatches a plan he’ll get Jason to return and shake some fear into them thus remembering him and allowing him to return to there dreams. Jason first victim is a surprise surprise a promiscuous teenager who is hacked repeatedly before being broken in half a subtle film this is not. Soon the kids begin to remember and Freddy is back but he still has a problem how to stop Jason now his work is done. Directed by Ronnie Yu who also directed ‘The Bride Of Chucky’ this is in the same vein equally horrific and hilarious. Robert England as Freddy enjoys himself spitting out the one liners this is the sort of film that will never win any Oscars but for fans of either series its a must.